K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
