That's when you crack a 10am beer
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
