guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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