I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
