just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
