watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
