Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
