Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
