If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
