She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
