I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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