can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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