It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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