I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
