Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
