Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
