we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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