Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
