hotel room ftw
Don't make out with my wife yet
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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