God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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