dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
