You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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