I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
