puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
