If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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