everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
