Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
