did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
