you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
