No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
