dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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