Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
