we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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