:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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