Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
