That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
