is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
