thus making me awesome and them whores
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're too hungover to prance.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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