the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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