Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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