I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
