32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
