i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
