He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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