so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
