I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
