It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
