A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
