Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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