my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
