I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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