A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sext me about skeletons
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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