Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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