In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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